I know that powdered cheese is probably made from dead bodies and dyed radioactive orange, but it holds a power over me like no other. Here I am, in my mid-twenties, eating boxed mac and cheese (generic mind you, not even Kraft) and I suddenly turn mildly retarded, saying things like, "duuude, this is [...]

Cooking is my ultimate zen — it truly makes me happy. However, sometimes you just can’t do it, it’s simply out of the question to make dinner or fry an egg. And hence we have the joy of processed foods — here are my favorites.
1. Special K Cinnamon Pecan Cereal — Cinnamon Toast Crunch anyone? [...]

I’ve often wondered why after a night on the town one craves the most vile of foods. Garbage Plate like travesties, of hamburger meat, macaroni salad, cheese, french fries and hot sauce. I don’t think I recall any drunken chum craving tuna sashimi, with a side of steamed tofu and a cucumber salad. It’s all [...]

Welcome Home Dinner:
Brussel Sprouts sauteed with shallots and garlic, Sliced Tomatoes with fresh garlic, olive oil and balsamic, Pork Chop in a soy-maple-chili glaze.
I apologize for the lack of posts last week. I was on a cruise and thus far too drunk, full and poor to report any Worst Cook deliciousness. It’s good to [...]

They might as well call pot roast, ‘impossible-to-fuck-up.’ I was in the grocery store yesterday and I actually saw pre-made pot roast baggies, filled with meat and veggies and an indistinguishable looking beef bouillon pouch.
I watched a middle aged man, with prematurely aged fingers, pick up the ghastly roast and look it over a few [...]

Holy fuck, Dunkin Doughnuts has really pissed me off, or rather inspired me. I was in post-orgasm bliss, watching the television when they run this commercial for Milky Way Hot Chocolate. What the fuck is going on? Why didn’t I think of that? For one thing, I think it’s already been thought of, and for [...]