“These two guys reared this lion from a baby in England but the authorities would not allow them to keep it once it reached maturity so they were forced to give it up, they took it back to Africa and placed it in a wildlife sanctuary, a year later [...]

I just returned from Fire Island. I live in Upstate New York. I’m a big fan of New York City; however, I wouldn’t want to live there. I don’t tell people from NYC that their city is so overpopulated I couldn’t stand to be there for more than 3 days. So why do they insist [...]

I had to get blood drawn today, a most joyless experience. I came equipped with a milky way to resurect my bloodless body and an eraseable pen I found on the ground to fill out paper work. I learned two things. 1) The milky way is almost too much caramel goodness. There’s enough sugar in [...]

I traveled for 24 hours straight yesterday. I almost missed my flight, lost my aisle seat, and gained a middle seat (suppressed groan), next to a screaming baby. My solution was to drink beer profusely until I passed out. Success! Once I arrived at the Tokyo airport, a mere 11 hours later, my ride was [...]

I fell in love with a man who described his day job as a mime on Culver Avenue. When we met, Dean Martin played in surround sound in my head. Butterflies didn’t just flutter; they had explosive orgasms in my stomach. The world as I knew it changed forever. But that is just being in [...]

Eat me.

Times are hard and I’ve been thinking about going back to work for the Man. 9-5 brings stability in the financial sense, a consistent paycheck for food, gas and a pair of William Rast jeans.
Every now and then, I look back on my ranting emails during the cold, corporate days of receiving notes on [...]

I’ve made it a habit to check in on Randy Pausch through his blog. It’s on the days I may have a tinge of self pity, whether from fucking up a recipe (last night’s baby artichokes were a complete failure) or when my cynical side starts to crawl through my nostrils like garlic and [...]

The other day I was asked to go on a free 7-day trip to Tahiti. Specifically, Bora Bora, pictured above. I said: No, thanks.

I want to give a shout out to my beloved cat Itty Bitty who died a year ago today. He was tragically hit by a car and I found his barely scathed body on the side of the road (should have seen the car). And thus, like any broken heart does, the gentleman [...]